When it all comes together ...

Sometimes you do all this work every day, you put in the hours, you break things down and you build them back up ... and you wonder if it's even worth it. There are so many days where the proportion of performing to practicing is 1 hour for every 1,000 of practice, and you wonder if the pressure you put on yourself to make that 1 hour perfect is even remotely healthy.

Then every once in a while, you do a thing which makes it all worthwhile - everything you've been working on coalesces into something magical. Last night, I performed in a cabaret with some good friends. It was the first show in a 2-show gig, and first shows are notorious for being botchy dry runs and for "working out the kinks". It was also the first time we were actually singing with the microphones and a live sound system and we all know how those can go!

But last night was magical. I wasn't nervous. The crowd and the bright lights felt warm and welcoming. Vocally, the show is a tough sing but I was focused technically and I paced and executed the technical aspects of the show very well, and the mic felt like an old friend.

The most important thing - I realize now - is that I just allowed myself to enjoy the moment. I allowed myself to be present to my fellow actors and music director, to the audience, to our supporting team and to myself ... and to simply connect with the larger energy that was in the room. It felt magical. It felt like I was where I was meant to be.

These are the sorts of experiences that I work towards more consistently. That is what those countless hours of rehearsing are for - to be free to connect, to be free to tell a story that people related to. 

-

My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to find out more or share your thoughts, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website. Thank you very much!

Today marks 2 years since I left a 19-year corporate career

Today marks 2 years since I left a 19-year corporate career to pursue one in performing arts. One of those 2 years was spent studying at a world-renowned Conservatoire obtaining my Masters in Musical Theatre performance, so really, I'm only just in the first year of my new career.

I didn't leave the corporate world because I was unhappy. I was very fulfilled, I had purpose, I was in a great company, I had a great reputation in my company and in the industry and I was positioning myself to take on a global role and leap up the corporate ladder. At the same time, I had always been involved in amateur and semi-professional theatre since the early 90's as a singer, actor, producer, writer, arranger and dramaturg.

So what triggered the change? It was actually the realization that what I was doing in the corporate world and what I was doing in theatre ticked the same "life purpose" box: using my skill set to connect people to our shared humanity. So whether it was providing consultation to large MNCs on how to optimize their supply chains or editing a script, whether it was coaching the sales team in Australia how to identify a customer's needs or finding my spot and hitting the top note in a song, I was doing the same thing. Inside. Of course - from the outside, it looks incredibly different. But to me - intrinsically - it felt exactly the same.

Let me be clear - it has not been easy. And my ex-colleagues are the first to admit that most of them don't have an inkling of what it must feel like to walk in my shoes. But it also occured to me last night that I've always dreamed about being a performer. As a kid, that's what I wanted to be ever since I saw Les Miserables when I was 8. And now, I'm actually doing what I dreamed of doing as a kid.

I'm one of the lucky ones. But I also know that I've gone out, done the work and have earned it. I'm really proud of the fact that my life has dovetailed - what I do and who I am walk a parallel path.

I remember my first year of employment in 1997 and the publishing company I worked in as their Marketing Executive. If I could go back in time and tell him one thing, it would be to "trust the journey and trust that you're going to be just fine". 21 years later, the same advice still applies. 

-

My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to find out more or share your thoughts, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website. Thank you very much!

Feeding the monster

All of us would love nothing more than to find consistent work as performers: transitioning from one show to the other. The reality is that only a very small percentage of performers are able to do that. And so rather making yourself wrong or talking yourself down for not finding consistent work as an performer, ask yourself: what do you want to do when you not performing?

Another way of looking at it is: how do you feed the monster?

Performing is the outward expression of a deeper desire, whether it is the desire to find acceptance, to find love or to spread your message. So rather than just focusing on performing, start to think about what it is that drives you to perform. Ask the "WHY" question.

And I use the term "monster" because it is something that I feel extremely driven to do. It forces me to ask myself what I want my artistic practice to stand for. And most importantly, if I don't feed it, it will start to feed on me.

I will be spending the next 3 weeks working in simulation-based medical roleplay where we train hospital personnel (from senior consultants and heads of departments to junior nurses) how to have powerful high-stakes interactions with the families of patients in their care. While there is an element of acting because we play families of hospital patients in various scenarios, the most important aspect of this work is in education and in empowering medical staff to take care of families on the worst day of their lives.

The "WHY" for me here is in using my artistic practice to change the lives of these medical staff so that they can in turn go out and (literally) save lives. How's that for feeding my monster? 

There are other facets of my artistic practice - acting, creating new work, education, coaching and activism - that all help to feed my monster. Constantly asking myself the "WHY" makes it much easier to decide where I spend my time and energy. 

So what do you do to feed your monster?

-

My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to find out more or share your thoughts, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website. Thank you very much!

"You're supposed to know what to do!"

Most people think education gives you everything you need to make it in the working world. But what education actually gives you just are the basic skills to get started.

And yet, we're supposed to know what to do right off the bat, and there's the dangerous disconnect.

Do you remember the first time you seriously "failed" when you didn't think you should have succeeded? It's a scary drop because there was no warning signs, no soft landing - just the hard slap of reality. I remember mine - not being cast even though I had successfully navigated the final round auditions for principal or main supporting roles in 2 major global productions. I received the news for both shows within days of each other and I remember sitting in a park trying to recall every detail of both final round auditions and trying to find the mistakes.

I started to beat myself up: "I'm supposed to be able to ace these auditions. A role like this doesn't come up often, much less two roles ... and still I blew it!" I started to question everything. By the end of 20 minutes, I had worked myself into such a state that I was asking myself: "Should I even be an actor???"

I spent much of the next 3 days just sleeping and re-playing those auditions in my mind - unable to look past all the mistakes I'd seen and unable to get past the missed opportunities.

I didn't know what to do, and I "ALWAYS" know what to do. So I fought against the helplessness, trying to find a way to "fix" myself. But all it did was make me feel worse. All it did was make me feel more terrified and stuck. No amount of training could have prepared me for this.

Eventually I had to admit that I didn't know what to do. And ironically, once I allowed that realization to settle into my body, a thought occured to me: "talk to someone". And still I fought it because I thought about how humiliating it was going to be. So it took me a few more days but I eventually did reach out to someone in my tribe.

Education, experience and life might prepare you for "some" situations, but life has a way of finding our deepest insecurities and shining a light into that space.

And it's OKAY not to know what to do all the time. It really really is.

-

My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to find out more or share your thoughts, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website. Thank you very much!