Staying grateful

By the time you’ve been turned down for the 100th time in 100 auditions, it is completely understandable and acceptable to be bitter, frustrated, angry, to swear never to audition again … or by the time you’ve endured the 200th snide or caustic remark from a passive-aggressive cast member or producer or director, it’s enough to make you swear that this will be your last show.

I get it … life’s not easy. Life’s not fair. It is very easy to get into the mindset of “Why do terrible things keep happening to me? Why can’t I get just one break?”

And if that’s not enough to handle, all of us know that one person in our life who complains about everything. We probably know more than one person. Without fail, they find reasons why things won’t work out. Ever. And it is very easy to commiserate, to feed the discontent, to complain, to justify why you are absolutely right to complain. And then to do it all over again the next day.

Firstly, it is completely natural to feel this way. Everyone does.

But not everyone stays that way.

I guess my question is - does complaining move you closer to achieving your goals?

If it doesn’t, then yes - absolutely still give yourself the space to vent, to yell, to scream, to be angry … give yourself space because bottling it up won’t help either. But then decide when you’ve had enough of it. You decide.

Personally, I know when I’ve had enough of being a whiney little shit. I choose to re-frame my circumstances into a learning opportunity. I choose to be grateful for what I have. Staying grateful is just as important as keeping your performing instrument finely tuned. It’s not about sweeping issues under the carpet or ignoring problems. It’s about moving fowards. It’s about preparing for the next opportunity. I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s not. At all.

But the alternative is becoming a bitter human being who is justified in being angry - and that’s not who I ever want to be.

-

My name is Eu Jin. I embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. I am a big supporter of personal growth and I dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste.

If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thank you very much!

I am ONLY in the 2nd year of my career

Everytime I get frustrated, I remind myself that I am ONLY in the 2nd year of my career. Realistically though, it can be a very difficult conversation to have because I do have over 20 years of experience in the working world - in a different industry albeit - but still … it is very difficult - emotionally, spiritually, intellectually - to start from scratch.

I am used to an environment where I control the pace, where I am a globally respected subject-matter-expert, where results are measurable and where I have a direct influence over the result. But now, no longer. All I have control over is myself - and that is a glorious lesson to have to learn because that is ACTUALLY all we have control over.

If I think back to the 2nd year of my working life (circa 1998), boy … I knew nothing. I was still a pup, learning the ropes in the publishing world, struggling with crafting emails to suppliers and tertiary institutes to solicit sales and schedule meetings. I remember being very afraid of pissing off anyone more senior than me (which was everyone else in my department and in my company).

In the last 20 years, I’ve learned how to find myself in the corporate world, to have my work in the corporate world be an extension of the person that I want to be. I’ve learnt that you really only need THAT much money to be happy, and I’ve learnt that the corporate world is made up mostly of people who just want to do a good job and go home to their families at the end of the day.

If I think about where I am now, I don’t exactly have those same insecurities and fears that I did back in 1999. What I do have is the know-how to navigate a business transaction, a clarity of purpose in life and an insatiable appetite to keep learning. There are still many things to learn but perhaps … just perhaps … I’m not as lost as I think I am.

-

My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thank you very much!

Master of the storm and wind? No ... master the Storm and Wind

Ultimately, for all the practices you put in place, for all the plans you have, for all the projects you involve yourself in and for all the support you build around yourself, this journey is yours and yours alone.

No one can talk you through the voices of doubt that keep you up at 3 in the morning. Nothing can ever protect you from having days you feel you’re not good enough. You won’t be able to avoid the sudden triggers, the emotional ambushes, the dangerous spirals, the anger, the frustration, the abject fear …

… and for me, having a healthy inner life practice is NOT about banishing or controlling those demons. They aren’t just part of being an actor, a creative or a performer. They are part of being human. For me, having a healthy inner life practice that lives and breathes is about creating a safe space to ground yourself amidst the storm and winds.

And on those days that the storms and winds get too rough, batten down the hatches. And in that space, be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to feel the storm. Don’t hide from it. Understand it. Befriend it. Then armed with that knowledge, do what you need to do to keep yourself safe until the storm passes. Go back to your practice and do something small - even if it is to review an old monologue you’ve done a million times or polish your musical instrument.

You may not be the master of your destiny - simply because there are so many factors beyond your control. The storms and winds will continue to blow and push you about in ways that you cannot control. But you can be master of your own ship. You can make sure you stay afloat, you can keep your ship safe and have your sails be ready to catch - and MASTER - the next wind.

-

My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thank you very much!

Still waiting? Keep working ... keep learning.

It’s easy to rant and rail at the amount of time to takes to make a simple decision. The reality is - we don’t ever understand the number of moving parts that have to be managed before a decision can be made. Nothing is ever black or white. EVER.

I recognize that there is a certain amount of tension I am holding - and have been holding for the last few weeks - and I’ve actually gotten to be OKAY with that. It reminds me that this is important. But I am also keenly aware about the level of tension I am holding, and I consciously monitor and keep it at something like a level 5 to 10 out of 100. I spend just a little bit more time meditating and exercising - to keep my mind and body loose.

Of course, my mind wanders and I consciously steer it towards remembering the positive learning experiences of the last few weeks. I remind myself that I left everything on the table; I remind myself that I achieved the goals I set in the room; I remind myself that the experience has taught me invaluable lessons about how I can be successful. It’s a delicate balance - staying positive and grounded in reality, and it takes work everyday.

I also keep working - building on the good work from a few weeks ago - and allowing those positive experiences to sink into my mind and body just a little more as I look to get better at my craft. I’ve made the conscious decision to delve deeper into the technical aspects of my craft these few weeks while I wait - revisiting and refining the technical detail of a vocal delivery in a song - and tonight, I had a tremendous breakthrough vocally which I am very excited to keep working on. I would not have been able to accomplish this without the good work I did a few weeks ago. So as far as I’m concerned, I’ve already won!

The thing is - life cannot stop simply because you’re waiting for something to happen. You have to take the steps forward that you can control while you’re waiting - so that no matter what the outcome is, you’ve taken ownership of your own journey.

-

My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to find out more or share your thoughts, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website. Thank you very much!